The Real Reason Hollywood Won't Cast Alicia Silverstone Anymore is So Unbelievably Disturbing That Knowing It Would Drive You Insane
Who doesn’t love Alicia Silverstone? She only starred in one of the most iconic movies, ever, as babe with a brain Cher Horowitz in the cult classic Clueless.
Clueless made Alicia America’s Sweetheart. We couldn’t get enough of her! But that Clueless magic was tough to recapture.
It turns out Silverstone and Benicio Del Toro weren’t the new Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan when they flopped in Excess Baggage
Even the totes adorable Silverstone couldn’t escape the bat-wreckage of Batman & Robin. Her spunky, spirited turn as Batgirl was overshadowed by Bat-Nipples and terrible wordplay. Gag me with a frozen spoon! What a terrible fate to befall such an ICE girl!
And though Silverstone and Brendan Fraser made a cute couple in Blast From the Past, audiences stayed away.
For a few years, Silverstone was red-hot but her time as a rom-com teen queen was short lived.
We here at Nathan Rabin’s Happy Place wondered why Silverstone stepped out of the spotlight after her 1990s heyday and what we discovered is so disturbing, so utterly upsetting on an existential as well as practical level that we cannot share it for fear of driving you, the reader, to the point of madness, and beyond.
The reason Hollywood won’t cast Alicia Silverstone any more is like Excalibur, a manuscript L. Ron Hubbard claims to have written early in his career that he locked away after four of the first fifteen people who read it went insane upon completion.
The reason Alicia Silverstone isn’t top-lining big Hollywood movies is like the monster in a Lovecraft story too horrific for mere words, that exists in a nightmare realm beyond the human imagination.
Bear in mind, this is in no way a reflection on Silverstone as an actress or human being. She is, by all accounts, a lovely person, a committed animal lover, activist and consummate professional. That’s part of what makes the reason Hollywood won’t cast her anymore so unexpectedly shattering.
That poor woman! I weep for her. And for myself. And for humanity.
Ever since I discovered the reason Hollywood won’t cast Silverstone my mental health has gone to shit. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I cry all the time. My brain keeps going to that dark place compulsively, almost as if to punish me for seeking out, and then possessing, cursed knowledge.
I take fistfuls of anti-anxiety medication but it doesn’t do any good. I’m barely holding on, and I’m keeping it together (in the loosest sense of the term) solely for the sake of my family.
Three of the people I worked with on the Silverstone investigation have chosen to end their own lives rather than live knowing what no one should ever know.
How bad is the reason Silverstone isn’t in movies anymore? It’s worse than genocide. It’s worse than the Holocaust. It’s worse than the worst atrocities of the Khmer Rouge. It’s worse than the worse thing your human mind can comprehend.
The suicide notes my late colleagues left behind leave no mystery as to the cause of their distress.
They read, in total,
“I wish I didn’t know.”
“It’s better to be dead than to live with this”
And finally,
“We never should have looked for answers to questions no one should ask”
Honestly, it’s probably a very bad thing that I’m even publishing this article. Nothing good can come of it but I’ve been so irrevocably scarred and transformed by the experience that I guess I felt the need to share it, even in a vague, evasive form, because the burden of carrying it has become just too goddamn great.
My God have mercy on my soul.
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