Film

In 1990 Nicolas Cage made Firebirds, the first of several thousand forgettable action vehicles unworthy of his talent or originality.

It’s Psycho Versus Psychlo in the cinematic war of the millennium!

John Travolta has big fun with a very big performance as a colorful lawman/law-breaker in the appealingly vulgar exploitation movie To Paris With Love.

Hey, you know what movie is great? Get Shorty. That movie is SO good.

Shortly before the release of Battflefield Earth John Travolta contributed a voice to 1999’s Our Friend, Martin, an insane special with the balls to ask, “Why don’t 12 year olds from the present travel back in time to save Martin Luther King’s life?”

Nicolas Cage has got Laura Dern hotter than Georgia asphalt in David Lynch’s gleefully bonkers Southern-fried, Palme D’Or-winning Neo-Noir.

Our deep dive into the complete discography of Nicolas Cage continues with a look back at the muddled 1993 inter-racial buddy comedy Amos & Andrew, a maddening heap of missed opportunities and muddled satire.

A perfectly cast Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery are a mismatched buddy team for the ages in Michael Bay’s uncharacteristically enjoyable 1996 action adventure The Rock.

John Travolta continues to scrape the bottom with the deathly dull 2019 racing Trading Paint.

With Shania Twain for some reason?

My journey through the Halloween films continues with a mortified look back at Rob Zombie’s muddled 2007 reboot.

Michael Myers is the pawn of a Druid cult in the marvelously misguided 1995 stinker Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers. Plus Paul Rudd as Tommy Jarvis in his film debut!

Michael Myers returns (again) in a wonderfully terrible stinker with a crazed performance by Donald Pleasance as an utterly unhinged Dr. Loomis.

“You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”

Michael Meyers is back, baby! That’s not cause for excitement, I’m afraid, on account of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers sucking.

One of you kind souls paid me to experience a fascinatingly awkward 1999 NBC special where Garth Brooks does a terrible job of promoting his ill-fated alter-ego, Australia-born pouty rocker/blue eyed soulman Chris Gaines.

1985’s Rambo: First Blood Part II desecrates everything that made First Blood so powerful. That’s probably why it was a massive blockbuster.

One of you kind souls paid me to suffer through the painful Sylvester Stallone-goes-country musical comedy Rhinestone, a flop that continues to suck.

Bret Ratner brought Donald Trump’s favorite cannibal to the big screen—again—in Red Dragon, a woeful adaptation of the novel that introduced Hannibal Lecter and inspired the infinitely better 1986 cult classic Manhunter

For latest installment of Control Nathan and Clint, you had us revisit the first time the Superman franchise went horrifically awry, Richard Lester’s Superman III, a terrible Richard Pryor comedy that’s just barely a superhero movie and comes alive only when Superman is being a raging, super-powered douche bag.

You guys had me re-watch the 1996 Shaq-as-rapping-genie movie Kazaam and I’m not gonna lie: it broke me a little bit.

You guys made me and Clint watch a Hulk Hogan science fiction comedy that, to be brutally honest, was quite poor. 

You generous fucks made Clint n' me watch the Nicholas Sparks adaptation with the ghost. Seriously. A fucking ghost. In a Nicholas Sparks movie. Christ. (SPOILER)

You kindly sadists had us watch a 1994 video game adaptation that is quite poor, but oh so very 1994 in every conceivable way. 

Cindy Crawford once made a movie that was a big old, non-sexy mistake.

You generous, career-sustaining sick fucks made me watch a movie where Rodney Dangerfield's got five wives—and a whole lot of headaches! No Respect January is proving to be fucking brutal. 

Sigh. 

It's your favorite cartoon characters as you've never seen them before: dourly delivering shrill anti-drug messages in a hilariously off-brand "Just Say No" extravaganza of nightmarish proportions! 

You generous monsters made me and Clint watch and talk about the movie where a once-behoved franchise really Nuked the Fridge, metaphorically and of course literally as well. 

Oh dear. Where to begin?

I’m sure this movie needed to be made.

The ongoing mistake that is Corey Feldman month continues with his directorial debut, a dreadful, cut-rate Naked Gun knockoff, but with tons of boobs! Who thought this was a good idea? 

With MoMo mania sweeping the nation, it seems like the perfect time to revisit 1985’s Deception of a Generation, an unintentionally hilarious expose about how He-Man, Scooby-Doo, the Care Bears, E.T and Yoda are all trying to turn your children into sassy little Satanists.

The famously terrible 2001 Danny DeVito/Martin Lawrence stinkeroo What’s the Worst That Could Happen is indeed terrible and a real stinkeroo.

For the purpose of a very strange cyber-safety initiative noted bully Garfield became an anti-bullying advocate and Nermal became a fat-shaming asshole as oblivious as he is creepy.

As part of my ongoing, obsessive coverage of Loqueesha filmmaker Jeremy Saville’s life and work, I unearth some of his early Youtube work, including such tellingly titled clips as “The Girlfriend Trainer” and “GayDate.” In a shocking, unexpected turn of events, they’re quite poor and also pretty offensive!

If you thought Vince Offer’s 2013 sketch comedy abomination inAPPropriate Comedy was an abomination, you’re right, but its Vince Offer-heavy prequel, 1999’s The Underground Comedy Movie, is somehow even worse! It’s an Offer you can, and most assuredly should, refuse.

It's a second rate The Godfather parody with Rodney as the Rodfather! Plus, it's a Kevin McDonald vehicle. What's not to love? (a lot, actually) 

You know how everyone says Bright is total garbage? They're being overly generous. 

Fuck this movie. Seriously. Fuuuuuuuck this movie. 

You know how everyone says Bright is total garbage? They're being overly generous. 

In what I can safely deem the biggest disappointment of my life Meg 2: The Trench kinda sucks.

By the fifth film in the original series, the Child’s Play franchise had gotten ridiculously silly in a most delightful, meta kind of way.

Grab your lucky crack pipe and relive the magic and the madness of Werner Herzog’s demented 2009 dark comedy Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans,

Fiona Apple’s dad gives an unforgettable performance as a Christmas-crazed killer in Christmas Evil, John Waters’ favorite Christmas movie.

Instead of going to the Gathering of the Juggalos, Insane Clown Posse’s yearly festival of arts and culture I took a little mind vacation to Vista Del Mar with some agreeable gals by the name of Barb and Star.

Uh, subs?

Donald Duck is down to fuck in the shockingly horny 1944 animated masterpiece The Three Caballeros.

Charles Grodin Month comes to an end with a fond look back at Clifford, a notorious flop that cast Martin Short as a ten year old boy and Grodin as his apoplectic uncle that went on to find a dedicated cult thanks largely to podcaster Tom Scharpling.

Movies about television month kicks off with a fond look back at the trippy Kristin Wiig vehicle Welcome To Me, a surreal character study about a mentally ill woman who wins the lottery and uses the winnings to live out her Oprah Winfrey fantasies.

Before 48 Hours, Lethal Weapon or Beverly Hills Cop there was Alan Arkin and James Caan in Richard Rush’s wildly influential 1974 mismatched buddy cop cult classic Freebie and the Bean, a weirdly forgotten blockbuster as problematic as it is entertaining.

Here at Nathan Rabin’s Happy Place, it’s 420 every day!