Exploiting the Archives: Star Wars!


Star Wars mania is upon us! Not since The Phantom Menace introduced audiences to a funny-talking frog-man from outer space named Jar Jar Binks have audiences been so agog with anticipation for more adventures from everyone’s favorite outer space “squad.” 

The Star Wars world is at an all-time high. Ron Howard recently made a “splash” when he replaced noted bums Lord and Miller by taking over the Han Solo movie.

Disney didn't "hire" Ron Howard: they let the maniac out of the cage. I can't wait to see the kind of fucked-up shit his "beautiful mind" dreamed up. Yes, Solo has filmgoers “Gung Ho” over this audacious choice. These truly are “Happy Days” for everyone’s favorite American Graffiti cast member. 

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Rumor has it, it was on the set of American Graffiti where George Lucas, the proud pappy of Star Wars himself, first taught Howard the Vulcan Mind Meld. Now he’s directing his own Star War. Live long and prosper, Meathead! 

The “Parenthood” of the Han Solo movie may be contested, but we all know that the finished film reflects your audacious vision, one that will have audiences “rushing” to theaters. 


The whole Star Wars gang is back in Star Wars: The Last Jedi: Bleep Bloop, Gary the Robot, Cool Guy, the Blonde Swordsman, Hairy Fella, Sexy Space Princess, Sorcerer Man. And the reviews are glowing! Chances are good you might be seeing the movie critics are hailing as “The rich man’s Battle Beyond the Stars” yourself so why not prepare for an adventure that takes place in a galaxy many moons from here with four of my Star Wars themed articles from the archive?

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So dig in! As George Lucas famously said in that hilarious 1980s Saturday Night Live sketch, “Get a job, losers! Star Wars is just for nerds and babies! Excelsior!” 

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