Exploiting the Archives/Present: I Wanna Marry "Harry"/The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
Welcome to the latest entry in Exploiting the Archives, the column where I write about, and link to, various articles I’ve written for professional websites over the course of my twenty-one years writing about pop culture.
I created this column partially because it involves a lot less research and time and energy than writing, say, a Lukewarm Takes piece on 18 episodes of Vice Principals that, full disclosure, was not particularly well-read. Yet running this site and doing Nathan Rabin’s Happy Cast has exhausted me to the point where I oftentimes do not have the time or energy to churn out even a column designed specifically to let me coast on hard work I’ve done in the two decades before I realized my true destiny as an unemployable blogger/Juggalo self-publishing a typo-ridden personal website.
So I’m a little late to the game in directing readers’ attention to the My World of Flops article on I Wanna Marry 'Harry', the astonishingly awful reality show that asked what happens when you trick a lot of fame-hungry young women into thinking they’re competing in a televised competition to win the heart and hand of Prince Harry.
The twist is that the Prince Harry figure was, of course, not the royal whose recent wedding to Meghan Markle riveted the world but rather a lookalike anxiously and not very convincingly pretending to be Prince Harry for the sake of a nice paycheck, and, of course, a real shot at true love.
I Wanna Marry Harry has a reputation as the worst of the worst, as one of the tackiest, sleaziest and more embarrassing examples of a widely mocked and reviled genre defined by tackiness. The show didn’t just reflect poorly on the people who made it, and the people in it: it depicts all of humanity in a bad light as well, as well as reality shows, television and even heterosexual romance.
I’ve also decided that this will be a good place for me to also promote current pieces I’ve written for other websites so I am overjoyed to bring your attention to the latest column in The Zeroes, the super fun Rotten Tomatoes column where I write about movies that have received the dreaded Zero rating on the popular movie review aggregator.
I previously wrote about such nadirs of the cinematic arts as Ballistic: Ecks v Sever (where I came out strongly in favor of Ecks but against Sever), Jury Duty and The Ridiculous Six. In the latest entry, I wrote up the astonishingly terrible The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, a fascinatingly misguided attempt to cash in on the post-E.T/Gremlins creature feature that ran out of money before filming finished and cut corners in ways that made an already surreal mind-boggle look and feel like a terrible the world’s worst acid trip.
In the latest Sub-Cult entry, meanwhile, I write of my love for Mystery Team, the hilarious, overachieving Encyclopedia Brown riff that first convinced me that that Donald Glover guy had a future in the business.
Read! Enjoy! Comment! Subscribe! And, of course, consider kicking in even a dollar (it’s been a couple of days since the last pledge, TBH) over at https://www.patreon.com/nathanrabinshappyplace