6 Random Images of No Special Interest to Millennials Whatsoever

Enjoy this still from  Can’t Hardly Wait,  Millennials, because it’s the last thing in this article you’ll feel any connection with at all.

Enjoy this still from Can’t Hardly Wait, Millennials, because it’s the last thing in this article you’ll feel any connection with at all.

Millennials! They’re the worst! If they’re not eating Tide pods, embracing socialism or killing and/or disrupting industries ranging from razors to wine, they’re monopolizing the interest of a media that never tires of either pandering to them or explaining why they’re terrible and responsible for all of our problems.

Buzzfeed in particular never tires of clickbaity articles all about things only Millennials will understand so we decided we would “flip the script” as us Gen-Xers said as recently as the mid-1990s, and counter-pander with six random images of absolutely no interest to millennials whatsoever.

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  1. Wally Cox drinking amorously

Marlon Brando once said that of actor Wally Cox, "If Wally had been a woman, I would have married him and we would have lived happily ever after.” The nerdy actor led a fascinating life as a major 1950s television star, Hollywood Squares fixture and the voice of Underdog, but that doesn’t mean shit to millennials who would rather gush about their love for Space Jam than appreciate this quirky comic actor.

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2. A campaign photo of George McGovern and Thomas Eagleton

The election of Donald Trump may have politicized Millennials in a major way, but it’s nevertheless doubtful that they know anything about Thomas Eagleton, a Senator from Missouri who was dropped by George McGovern as a Vice Presidential nominee after it came out that he had received electroshock treatment for Depression. Millennials can recite Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead by heart but I doubt one in ten would be able to tell you who the man standing next to George McGovern is. Sad. Shame.

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3. Dom DeLuise on the set of Hot Stuff

Dom DeLuise loomed large as one of the best-loved and most-employed funnymen of the 1970s. He was a beloved fixture of Burt Reynolds movies and Mel Brooks parodies but the above image of DeLuise on the set of 1979’s Hot Stuff won’t make Millennials deeply nostalgic for the heyday of the Backstreet Boys feel anything at all.

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4. John Heard and Geraldine Page in A Trip to Bountiful

Millennials can’t get enough Fall Out Boy. It’s not an ignorant, insulting characterization to say that the group is to Millennials to what The Beatles and Rolling Stones are for old people who don’t matter anymore. What millennials remain painfully ignorant about, alas, is the lovely 1986 character study A Trip to Bountiful. It’s doubtful these plugged-in social media addicts know anything about the movie, let alone John Heard’s role in the supporting cast.

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5. Geraldine Page and Rebecca De Mournay in A Trip to Bountiful

They’re equally ignorant about Rebecca De Mournay’s role in the film. That’s just sad. How are you going to make a difference if your knowledge of A Trip to Bountiful is non-existent?

6. Geraldine Page onstage accepting the Academy Award for A Trip to Bountiful

Why would Millennials care about A Trip to Bountiful? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because it WON GERALDINE PAGE an Oscar. No biggie. But I guess Millennials would rather reminisce about early iPods and iCarly than watch Geraldine Page’s award-winning tour de force.

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