Will the Media Ever Tire of Getting "Owned" by Trump?

This is Trump in his true, superhuman form!

This is Trump in his true, superhuman form!

It’s a dynamic we’ve seen over and over again over the course of Trump’s presidency: the lamestream FAKE NEWS media, in their bizarre quest to destroy the president and subvert the will of the American people, seizes upon something seemingly idiotic that Trump has said or done and uses it as clear-cut evidence that Trump is some manner of dim-witted maroon, instead of the intimidatingly brilliant intellect he has always prided himself on being. 

The press will be all, “Duh, Orange Man Bad said something dumb! Ha ha! We’re so much better than him. Bernie or Bust and we hate America!” and then Trump will respond, “Actually, what you thought I said that was so dumb was actually so smart that I just said it to make fun of you and expose you as liars and fakes! Ha ha! FAKE NEWS, Enemy of the People! Jake Tapper pooped his pants! Liar, liar, pants on fire! I’m rubber, you’re glue, everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.”

The press must then concede the truth of Trump’s defense. They’re forced to apologize to Trump and their readers and admit that they, in fact, are the dumb ones. Additionally, they must then confess that everything they say about the president bounces off of him and stick to them and also that they are unmistakably in the pocket of big Hillary “Benghazi” Clinton. Finally, they have to admit that they do, in fact, poop their pants. 

You would think that the media would get tired of constantly getting publicly OWNED by the president but they do not learn. Being a brilliant medical mind, Andy Kaufman-level conceptual prankster and the Bobby Fischer of 5th dimensional chess, Trump seemed to recently suggest that possible cures for COVID-19 could be found in injecting disinfectants or ultraviolet light into the human body.

download.jpg

Trump’s exact words were, “I see the disinfectant that knocks it out in a minute, one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning? Because you see it gets inside the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that.”

Later, however, when Trump was asked about his seemingly straight-faced suggestion that a cure for COVID-19 might be found in shooting up Clorox, he specified, “I was asking a question sarcastically to reporters like you just to see what would happen.” 

WHOA! 

Check and mate! If I were Trump I would have then dramatically dropped the mic and Moonwalked out of the press briefing but he’s too classy for that. 

Most presidents would stop “owning” the press and playing HILARIOUS and AWESOME and INVARIABLY SUCCESSFUL mind games with the media during an unprecedented pandemic in favor of reassuring the American people, providing inspiration with honeyed words like Churchill or FDR and giving the public vital, straightforward information they need to keep their families alive. 

download-1.jpg

Not our boy Trump, however. It NEVER stops with him. He isn’t about to stop EXPOSING the media’s lies and partisan, anti-Trump agenda even if it means looking like a moron ignorantly proposing deadly “cures” during an unprecedented crisis that would kill instead of save lives. 

You one dimensional chess players don’t understand but Trump is always over a thousand steps ahead even when it seems like he’s a drooling moron barely capable of functioning in adult society. 

Trump is the Keyser Soze of American politics.

Which is more likely, that the motherfucking PRESIDENT of the United States, a self-professed VERY STABLE GENIUS, BILLIONAIRE REAL ESTATE MOGUL with an empire the likes of which the world has never known, who also, I dunno WAS THE TOP RATED REALITY SHOW HOST IN HISTORY, OWNED A FUCKING CHAMPIONSHIP FOOTBALL TEAM (kind of) and BANGS LOTS OF HOT MODELS AND PLAYBOY PLAYMATES who also GRADUATED FROM AN IVY LEAGUE college and IS MAYBE THE MOST FAMOUS CELEBRITY IN THE WORLD would constantly say and do unbelievably stupid things that cause reasonable people to wonder how a grown man, let alone the leader of the free world, could behave in such a selfish, immature even idiotic fashion, or that he’s only PRETENDING to be a moron to own the libs? 

hqdefault.jpg

Do you really think an Einstein-level intellect like Trump’s would seriously have a Twitter feed where he throws constant tantrums, launches schoolyard taunts at adversaries and continually misspells words and names? 

Why just today “Donald Trump” went on a tweet storm where he appeared to both mistake Pulitzer Prizes for Nobel prizes AND misspell “Nobel” in the process. While the lamestream media obsesses about Trump’s seeming “errors” and “mistakes” and “terrible personality” and “unbelievable stupidity” Trump is out there single-handedly bringing down a powerful pedophilia ring involving the Clintons, Tom Hanks, George Soros and most of Hollywood and the Democratic Party. #KAGA

It’s too late for the media to avoid getting owned by Donald Trump. He’s simply destroyed them with his words and actions too many times for them to have any kind of legitimacy. 

30_yourhoroscopefortoday_low.png

So if the media doesn’t want to embarrass themselves further, the next time Trump seems to do something almost inconceivably stupid and immature, they should just report that they don’t personally understand the genius of Trump’s words or actions but that they must be brilliant and everyone should follow him blindly. 

It’d be too little, too late, but at least it’d be something.

Help ensure a future for the Happy Place by pledging at https://www.patreon.com/nathanrabinshappyplace 

And you can and should buy my new book about the complete discography of “Weird Al” Yankovic, The Weird Accordion to Al, over at https://www.amazon.com/Weird-Accordion-Al-Obsessively-Co-Author-ebook/dp/B083QSSG6G/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=weird+accordion+to+al&qid=1587937613&sr=8-1