When a Lyft Rider's Fed Up

Uber and Lyft have both introduced new features designed to help customers customize their rides but when you enter a stranger’s car via those ride share apps you also enter their world.

What you discover there might surprise or alarm you or, more often, it might make you uncomfortable. That happened recently when I got inside a Lyft and after a minute or so of pleasant small talk the driver cranked up his radio to Sparkle’s 1998 hit “Be Careful.”

It’s a song that made me squirm first and foremost because it was written and produced by R. Kelly, who also contributes co-lead vocals. 

Kelly is of course a disgraced former superstar currently serving a richly deserved prison sentence for his role in running an abusive underage sex cult that terrorized countless very young women in the Chicagoland area and elsewhere. 

But it goes beyond that. Sparkle is the niece of the underaged girl featured in the infamous video at the center of Kelly’s 2008 child pornography case that inexplicably and maddeningly ended with Kelly being found not guilty despite the fact that he was captured on tape doing all of the horrible, horrible things he was accused of. 

Sparkle even testified against her former mentor, producer and star-maker but it did not make a difference. It wasn’t until much later that Kelly was finally held accountable for his crimes. 

I wanted very much to tell the driver, “Could you please turn this off? The singer is a disgusting sex criminal who has destroyed the lives of countless women? I used to be a huge fan but now I can’t hear his music without thinking of all of the crimes he committed and all the lives he destroyed” 

But I did not, even as I was deeply unnerved by the lyrical content of “Be Careful” as well as the sociopath who wrote, produced and sings on it. Just as R. Kelly was hiding in plain sight in terms of the sexual content of his music, writing songs and albums for underage protege Aaliyah with titles like Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number he was being brazen about his controlling, emotionally abusive ways as well. 

When I listened to “Be Careful” when it came out I deluded myself into thinking that it was a story song because Kelly sang his part from the perspective of an angry, resentful boyfriend who lost his job and is bitter and jealous. 

From the vantage point of 2022, however, it’s obvious that the barely suppressed rage and toxic masculinity of the man singing the song is Kelly’s own. 

The more you know about “Be Careful”, the more disturbing it is. So I was decidedly less than enthused when, after the song ended, it started back up again. 

As you might imagine, I was less than enthused. The song wasn’t any less creepy the second time around. Again, the driver seemed very pleasant yet his choice in music was highly regrettable. 

It almost felt like he was trolling me, particularly when back-to-back R. Kelly songs were followed by an Eric Clapton joint. 

I couldn’t tell the driver, “Hey, could you turn this off? He’s super problematic and has a history of racism and also is a big anti-vaxxer.”

It’s entirely possible the driver either didn’t know about Clapton’s history or didn’t care. A lot of people don’t!  A lot of folks are blissfully oblivious to the myriad shortcomings of the rich and famous. 

The ride was a reminder that the concept of being cancelled is far from universal. We as a culture might have decided, way too late, that R. Kelly is a monster we should not support in any way but there are people out there who don’t know and/or don’t care and will listen to whatever the hell they want, society be damned. 

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