The Electoral Integrity Hoax
One of the great things about streaming is that it dramatically cuts down on the amount of advertising you’re forced to consume.
It’s great because advertising fucking sucks, and I write that as someone who has always been fascinated by consumerism in all its form.
But, like everybody else in the world, my wife and I have been watching the hot new true miniseries. You know the one! You’re watching it too! Everybody is! Being addicted to true crime is largely what unites us as a nation these days.
Many of the true crime shows we’re watching do not have commercials but some do. It’s been so long since I’ve watched commercials regularly that it honestly feels a little jarring.
It’s like laugh tracks in that respect. Growing up I thought it was the most natural thing in the world that whenever someone made a joke on a sitcom an invisible army of unseen super-fans would hoot and holler and guffaw and sometimes even clap in appreciation.
Now that all seems fake as shit, as egregiously phony as the most pandering 1970s variety show. But at the time I just accepted that excessive laughter created by a literal machine was a cornerstone of television comedy and always would be.
Most commercials wash over me without making much of an impression but I have been fascinated by commercials from a Georgia politician running for office.
I don’t remember the man’s name or what office he’s running for but what does stand out is that he seems to have made “electoral integrity” his primary issue in the campaign.
At this point I do not have to tell you that the candidate in question is not just a Republican but a hardcore Trump supporter. For Trump, the only way for an election to have integrity is if he, or someone he has endorsed, is declared the winner regardless of who got more votes.
Trump is obsessed with “electoral integrity” because he cannot accept that even though his supporters’ boat parades were huge, and their trucks very flamboyantly and patriotically decorated, he was somehow not re-elected.
Trump treating “electoral integrity” as the most important issue facing Americans today would be like me running for office and announcing that I was going to finally tackle the issues most important to voters: pop culture websites cancelling columns by veteran writers, excessive Patreon deletions and books with publishers and publicists getting press attention and wracking up sales instead of self-published labors of love. Oh, and inadequate financing and monetization of Nicolas Cage-themed podcasts.
If I were to do that, people would respond that of COURSE I care about those things. They all very directly affect my life, my career and my finances. But they obviously don’t matter to anybody other than myself and a tiny subsection of struggling longtime writers who face the same issues that I do.
I am not Donald Trump, however. He HAS managed to convince a good percentage of Republicans that him being “robbed” of a sacred landslide victory is the most important issue facing the country and an injustice they must confront.
Then I realized that I was not the audience for the idiotic commercial about the Georgia Republican fighting for electoral integrity. I’m not sure Republicans or undecided voters were the target audience for the ad either, in part because “endlessly re-litigating Donald Trump’s 2020 presidential loss on Donald Trump’s behalf” doesn’t seem like a subject with much appeal for people who aren’t already firmly in the MAGA camp.
The ultimate audience for this miserable man’s muddled message was undoubtedly Donald Trump. HE is who matters to Republicans running for public office. They’re more interested in appealing to one awful man and his insatiable need for love, validation and approval than the country and the constituents they’re ostensibly serving.
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